Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in zerofaith011's LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, January 30th, 2008
1:54 am	64 weeks since last update... What's changed? I'm finding grey hairs. It's been two years and 3 months w/ the woman. At the end of the 9 month healing process w/ my knee injury/surgery. Going to school full time and working "part time" (every weekday) Still have ridiculous sleeping habits. That's about it. Eat napkins, taste glue. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 7th, 2006
7:54 am	Hrm. Weekend driving= Home->UVA->home->UVA->greensboro,nc->UVA->home My wallet already hurts. Happy one year and one month to the woman and I. Thinking back to beginning of this relationship, to the first conversation we actually had about dating, we decided neither of us wanted a relationship, much less a long distance relationship. It's funny how things work out. The first time I saw Elise was in a bowling alley, I didn't even remember her name nor saw her for more then five minutes that night. My first real memory of her was riding back from NYC. Her sarcasm amazed me as I had never heard sarcasm crafted so beautifully nor done with such amazing proficiency. Most people call it being a bitch but her words take talent. She ripped my best friend a new asshole for being rude to his girlfriend/her best friend and I couldn't have loved it more. Then she stole my pillow. Our first date was quite memorable. After dinner my restroom break made it quite obvious how my stomach felt... i'm not sure if my face was red because of the embarassment or the obvious. Either way I wanted to melt into the ground and dissapear. Unfortunately I didn't and we drove to the bowling alley where we decided the hour long wait was too long. Even more unfortunate my stomach decided to humiliate me further and I dissapeared for another ten minutes. Surprisingly she didn't leave and when I came back even more tension was released, so to speak, and jokes were made. We decided to go to a movie, but got lost instead. It turned out we got lost long enough to where we got to the movies around the time we would've been dong waiting for bowling. During the time between the purchase of our tickets and the movie she found out I was a complete pyscho on the soccer field and I found out she was great at tearing her ACL and blaming it on snowboarders hitting her. You know you have a great woman when you compare scars on the first date. One thing I forgot to mention is that before I asked her on our date I had to explain how I had no license and that she would have to drive... I should've proposed when she still accepted. Anyway, we pulled up to my house after the date and kept talking, all the while I was mentally pysching myself up to kiss her. Finally, I went in and had a really awkward kiss. I didn't think it could get any more awkward so my brain told me to go in for another kiss. That was the night I stopped listening to my brain and decided looking back on things and laughing is my new favorite hobby. Ever since then my life has been filled with wonderful kisses, Elise falling on my head, new meaning to the phrase "just the tip", varying ways to include stratification into sentences, rap music and reality tv, a half dead toyota camry, denny's at all hours of the night, crispy chicken burgers with a slice of american cheese, jumping at bad scary movies, trumpy, gumby vision and new potato, grandmothers who harass you when you don't dance, scrunchy noses, hospital trips, laughing because the other person is laughing at you laughing when you're laughing because they're laughing at nothing, beds in new jersey, bands in new jersey, whatsa matta with the pizza pie, foreheads onto the floor, hangover ET watching, jmu trips, wrestling matches, water fights, las vegas tourists, complaining about the weather and everything else under the sun (which is too hot by the way).... You get the point. I love the woman. She is the salt in the water which enables me to keep afloat in this ocean we call life. Current Mood: light Current Music: Anoushka Shankar-Arpan (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 18th, 2006
7:02 am	It's 3am. Work starts in 3 and a half hours. Most likely it'll be an amazing 15 hour shift. Best case scenario- the building has burned to the ground and all the dogs and cats have miraculously escaped, unharmed. Worst case scenario- a building shaped as dog burns me to the ground Interesting fact, a receptionist asked me how to spell "nostrils" the other day... Another interesting fact, half the receptionists are morons. 3:31- Well your clothes hang on a wire and the sun is overhead but today you are too weary to even leave your bed 3:42- Mean old levee taught me to weep and moan (9 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, September 22nd, 2006
9:28 pm	Yo La Tengo Tuesday Night 930 Club I will be the first in line. I bought two tickets... one for a friend. Apparently my friends are imaginary because i'll be waiting in line alone. Current Mood: tired Current Music: Hendrix (Comment on this)
Sunday, August 20th, 2006
1:08 am	Maybe this is just funny to me... You've all heard the saying "If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a noise?" As a result of great timing, two minutes into my shooting adventure, I heard a tree fall in the forest. Current Mood: blank Current Music: Speed Kills (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, August 14th, 2006
7:49 pm	wow life just became more confusing. instead of wondering why i'm alive i'm pondering why i'm still alive. i fell asleep at the wheel this afternoon. i was northbound on 29 and i hadn't even been up a half hour before i started the trek. time was definitely a factor, i had two and half hours before i had to be at work. the trip itself was two hours. i felt myself falling asleep and knew i had to stop somewhere. the next thing i knew the entire car was shaking from unintentional offroading,apparently i was on the 20 foot wide median seperating the north and south lanes. it turns out the median turned into a hill with 90 degree slopes on each side about 15 feet high. unfortunately i forgot how to use the brakes and started to slide off the left side of the hill. i felt the car and myself lose the inconvenience of gravity, slam onto it's side and slide. the next thing i knew the car had flipped on its back and slid to a stop. i crawled out of the car window as soon as i realized i was upsidown. my car slid halfway into the left lane of the southbound lanes... the opposite side of the highway where i had started. i don't have a stratch on me, just a sore neck and a minor headache. no one else was hurt and no other car was damaged. perhaps the most mentally disturbing thing about this incident is that as i was riding in the tow truck, we passed where my car had first gone off the road... i missed an old oak tree by 5 feet. i feel like any minute i'll wake up from this aftermath of dreams and god will be there telling me i'm dead. Current Mood: confused Current Music: luna-mermaid eyes (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, August 3rd, 2006
2:31 am	Scars I have scars that remind me of some of the best times i've ever had in my miserable little existance. Thank you appalachian mountains for the skin you took from me. Thank you cigarette for burning the skin off me. Thank you nail sticking out of wood for slicing my skin. Whenever I see these scars I remember when it happened and how and all the wonderful memories that surround that point in time. It's like a physical scrapbook. My i-pod skipped the best part "any colour you like" by pink floyd. I was up in the Shenandoah Mountains earlier this summer. It was some of the most interesting stuff i've ever shot. We were at this old farm house that was remodled in the 1970s and there was this beautiful old barn next to it. And I think i'm finally making progress with photographing people. As long as they don't know what i'm doing. Work aint too shabby. There is this dog, cupcake,who is up for adoption and is the best damn dog ever, that I'd really like to adopt. But sadly, my parents dont allow pets in their time. It's quite bad timing for both the dog and I, if I had my own place i'd adopt her in a second. I'll be wearing quite the frown when she's finally adopted. She's a year old, has ears like german shepard, a snout like a pitbull and a skinny body like a short hair lab. She's all black too minus a small white spot on her neck. I may steal her and move to Alaska. I'm in love with two girls and one knows about the other. Current Mood: breathin easy Current Music: dollars and cents (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, June 30th, 2006
9:02 am	Blimey I'm sick. Summer colds are about as cool as ice. Or ice cream. Or as cool as I seem. Rhinoceros sex. Did I mention I found a job? Yea, its at an animal hospital. If any of you want, I can give you the number to the place and ask for Joseph. That way I get to have my name over the intercom. I've only been working since Monday but I think i'll enjoy it, except for the hours. Starting work isn't so bad when it's at 1:30 in the afternoon but ending the work day around 9 isn't my cup of tea. We're supposed to work until 8 but there's always an appointment that drags on the day. The people I work with are great and chock full of sarcasm. Damn I feel like i'm going through menopause... hot cold hot cold... i don't think 9pm will come quickly enough. I also don't have to work on my birthday. Thank you jebus. Wow, i'm hacking up tiny volkswagons. Yummy. In the words of the most artistic person I know, peas and beans Current Mood: dea Current Music: yes (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, June 15th, 2006
2:27 am	Let me out I'm starting to write in this thing way too much. Also, it's 2am and i'm afraid there are cannibalistic people under mind control outside my back door. (and no, not zombies) I was going to write about something worthwhile but now it seems pointless. Also, the pumpkins are back in my life. Not that they ever left but there were long periods where i didn't listen to them. Anyways, since I started putting them back on my computer they've been hanging around afterwards. Now even that last paragraph seems pointless. Billy just sucks the fun out of everything... take that how you want. Wow. I take back what I said about iTunes. Lauren, that 12 disc set of rarities you sent me is actually recognized by iTunes. It lists the bootleg name, the track title and artist. Thanks again, the collection was quite amazing. I also put on 8 live shows on 10 discs and it did the same exact thing. Yep. Life is grand. Current Mood: in the shower Current Music: The band I didn't shut up about (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, June 5th, 2006
1:21 am	Everyone I hate iTunes* ** *Yes, this means I do own an iPod. Notice how i'm even doing the lower case 'i' with the upper case 'T'. I feel cheap and used... but then I look at how my iPod puts me to sleep with my music on shuffle and I feel better about myse... my situation. **And yes, John, I did infact steal the whole '**' bit... But as for the reason I hate itunes* *notice how I didn't do capitalize the T in itunes? it's because i'm trying to make you think i don't care that the T isn't capitalized... but it really does bother me. not as a consumer of apples and oranges, but as a person. Yes, continue on the reason i'm even writing this journal out. It's because itunes didn't import 80 percent of the music I have on my computer, and nearly all of it is from the actual disc, but it wasn't allowed to be imported because it was protected content... the only music that worked was stuff my friend sent me over AIM and a few CDs. kind of funny in a way. im currently doing the pumpkins. once i get past them i'll start picking the rest of my albums off my floor. and this one time at the zoo i saw this deer it was only six inches tall full grown and everything it was from asia i wanted one but they are very rare and the zoo doesn't give away animals but they should Current Music: quiet down (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 10th, 2006
3:13 am	Hyah-ing Speak to me puppet. Your mix cd is on. I miss our hut. I posted that half an hour ago. Now I have to edit it because I can't post another entry even though it's 330 in the am and i'm bored and slightly off my rocker. imagine if your grandma fell out of her bed or if you had a baby and it fell out of the high chair, that's how off my rocker i am. it makes me think, waht exactly is a "rocker"? are they talking about a rocking chair? and how exactly did "rock" come to have a double, stratch that, triple meaning? not that it's important but one time i threw a rock at a rocker in a rocking chair. i think his name was mick jagger. now it's time for my favorite line ever. TWO ELEPHANTS AND A CYMBOL FALL OFF A CLIFF... cymbol. cymbal. symbolize. super size. capsize. side of fries? no thank you. for some reason being really out of it because of lack of sleep beats all other drugs. in fact, it's hitting me harder than bobby brown hits his wife. if the law didn't prohibit the beating of spouses we'd all have a lot more baked goods circulating around communities. and then i could have a second favorite line "bitch, pie or fist in the eye!!" or perhaps a more simple slogan "bitch, pie or die" not that i condone the beating of ones spouse but if the bitch act a fool, whoop that trick. im guessing if this entry were a rap song the next sentence would have to fit the rhyming scheme and it'd probably end with the word "dick" well, i guess if you've gone this far you really are interested. or just bored. so ill tell you about my life. i play frisbee golf (i shot an 8 under today) a lot, in fact too much. i broke my collarbone in feb and hurt it agian a few weeks ago. its been 3 days and 7 months since i started dating a certain trouble maker and money shaker. we're creepy, a few months before we actually dropped the "L" bomb on each other we would wait till the other was asleep and then we'd tell the sleeping one that we loved them. i should probbaly come back and edit that last comment but as of now, i could care less. i'm in love mother fucker and spring is here. ill probably edit out that too because well in the words of charles atlas "that was pretty gay man" what else is new... my license got suspended for not paying a speeding ticket. i was reckless and went 18 miles over the limit. then i missed my court date because i'm a genius. its 345. 15 minutes have gone by. i wonder how many deaths and births worldwide have happened in that time slot. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, March 31st, 2006
2:30 am	It's been a while since i've updated this journal... well, that was fun. See you in another two months. Current Mood: bored Current Music: Gilmour- Red sky at night (8 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, January 26th, 2006
10:37 pm	Who am I? A question we often ask ourselves... what happens when someone (someone being my pyschology teacher)asks "Who are you?" and then gives me the chance to explain myself on a piece of paper? Well i'll show you. My name is Joe Hage. I’m 21 but that’ll change in a few years. The only place I’ve ever lived is Virginia and my family only moved once when I was 5. It was the longest 15 minute drive of my life. I really didn’t think we’d ever get there. Apparently my family doesn’t like change which has obviously left an impact of myself. I’ve only played one sport seriously, I’ve had the same three best friends for more than 10 years and I’ve had the same favorite band since 1995. I also order the same thing every time at Taco Bell just incase I haven’t proved my point enough. What makes me unique and different? Well I enjoy sledding in shorts, using my turn signal (I enjoy left more than right) and I can juggle knives. If you replace “juggle” with “sleep” and replace “knives” with “all day” then that last sentence is true. Out of all my 3 friends (2 stuffed, one real) I am the only one that really enjoys music. I am what you would call a “self proclaimed music snob” and it is my personal belief that I have the best taste in music. Ever. If you doubt me, you’re wrong. That is unless you’re grading this. Then you’re completely right and I thank you for correcting me. At this point in my life I am not surprised where I am, but I am rather disappointed. I thought I’d be closer to graduating, have a plan to get where I want to go and maybe even a few pounds lighter. I went to VCU when I got out of high school and fell flat on my face as soon as I got there. (I still have the scar) I stuck it out for a year and a half before leaving and since then I’ve been working on graduating with a degree in photography. The last three semesters I’ve been taking classes at the Corcoran School of Art but the progress was going to slow. I decided to get in gear and here I am at Nova, trying to keep my head afloat in this ocean we call life. Did I forget to mention I enjoy using cheesy metaphors? The plan is to get a two year degree and go back to art school. I’m not sure whether or not I’d go back to VCU inRichmond, that place is more depressing than a nursing home. I’d like to go back to the Corcoran but for every semester I go, I could be buying a new car. (It’d have power windows) Whatever I do I’d like to come out with a degree in photography because I’d rather be doing something that makes me happy and not making that much then making a lot of money and being miserable. I’m sticking to that last statement until the real world hits me like a bag of bricks and I’m on the streets of DC selling prints on cardboard drawn with ketchup packets I tear open with my one tooth. Looking back on this long and drawn out life I’ve had, I’d only go back and change a few things. I’d make sure my oldest sister had an accident in the tub and I would’ve worked a lot harder in high school. Well let’s be honest, I’d make sure BOTH my sisters had accidents in the tub. But on a serious note, I’d also change certain habits such as smoking and having 90% of my food intake be nothing but tortilla chips. In conclusion I hope you’ve learned a lot about me because re-reading this I’m learning a lot about myself, such as how I need more real friends. Sure the stuffed ones don’t talk back but that means they can’t argue and I can do whatever I want, whenever I want. And how many furry friends do you have? Well, you don’t have to answer that. In final conclusion I sincerely hope you don’t think I’m not taking this assignment seriously. All the sarcasm and random weirdness is me which is exactly what you asked for. I bet you’re kicking yourself in the butt right now. Hope you enjoyed the read! Current Mood: content Current Music: Gorillaz-kidswithguns (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, December 12th, 2005
10:35 am	Normally i'd try to find something to bitch about but today that push to put effort into finding something isn't there. Lucky you. Someday when we're old and wrinkly you'll look back on the words i've written and ask yourself "Why wasn't I out enjoying my youth instead of reading this dumb kid's online journal?" Then you'll look at your grandkids (assuming you don't eat them after they're born) and ask yourself yet another question, "I wonder what they'd taste like with a little lemon and pepper...?" After taking your anti-cannibalism medication you'll simply fall asleep and die. Then your grandkids will ask themselves "Why didn't I take the time to get to know my grandpa/ma when he/she were alive?" (assuming they don't eat you before you the funeral) and then they'll ask themselves another question, "I wonder what he/she'd taste like with a little lemon and pepper...?" "Cats are technically carpet munchers because they lick themselves" Theodore Roosevelt, 1936 "If God were an emo onion and he cut himself, would he cry?" Keanu Reaves, 198? "One time I saw a goldfish do a backflip. One time." Dolly Parton, 2009 "RAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH" Big foot, 1984 after stubbing his toe "FIRE ZE MISSILES!" G.W.Bush, everyday Current Mood: weird Current Music: Anti-climatic with a climax at the end of anti-climating (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 6th, 2005
2:08 pm	I've been thinking... because that's what brains do and while my brain was doing it's thing I discovered something. In the relationship category, I have it made. In other world news, i'm kissing 900 dollars goodbye because of a guardrail. God speed. In local news, damn I look good in a suit. This just in, i've become vaIn. Vanity is my new best friend. A few months ago I would've keeled over and died (or died and keeled over) at this discovery but now I don't see it as a problem because i'm perfect and part of being perfect is self realization. Or self dillusion. i'm going to sit Down and write You a letter And seNd it. soon. penpal. I have a total of 4 and half workdays left until i'm out of here. Then i'm free as a bird and my bank account will slowly dwindle until there is nothing left but a memory of what once was. Then i'll be forced to sing for my supper which will hurt more than help because my singing voice should be used for nothing but the shower. That and orgasms. Current Mood: full Current Music: Bush (10 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 29th, 2005
2:25 pm	C'mon bird flu! On days such as these, where there is no work to be found, one is forced to dive deep into the endless ocean of information known as the internet. Upon these expeditions certain knowledge is found that can make one cringe, seize up and pass out. This happened while reading an awesomely disturbing headline that read "Five more years of Simon on 'Idol'" To you, this may mean five more years of childish insults that should be responded to with "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me". But to me, this means five more years of randomly flicking around on the television and accidentally stumbling across a talentless and otherwise confused "idol" trying their best to grasp those fifteen minutes of fame. This also means five more years of having to suffer through commercials for American Idol, five more years of Paula Abdul in the headlines and five more years of hearing shallow retards gossip about who they think should've been cast off. To be quite honest, if I were president i'd make it my first act to find every poor soul who has ever tried out for American Idol and shoot them myself then let the first dog take a piss on the pile of bodies that will accumulate behind the white house. Or maybe i'm being a bit dramatic... to be honest I'd just put them in camps. I'd also take the three judges to a disclosed location and make them watch every single episode from every single season of American Idol. Maybe then they'd see what they had done, be overwhelmed by massive amounts of guilt and use the closest sharp object to commit suicide. Well, again, i'm going to make a change of plans. I'd still carry out my plan but instead of letting Paula Abdul kill herself, i'd lock her in a chair and force her to eat until she became everything she hates... FAT. Uh oh. "Lindsay Lohan is getting a tattoo to commemorate landing a role in a forthcoming film about the life of John Lennon. Inspired by Lennon’s quote, “Get out there and get peace, think peace, live peace, and breathe peace, and you’ll get it as soon as you like,” TeenHollywood.com reports that Lohan will get the word “breathe” tattooed onto her forearm" One question, when is Britney Spears coming out with a movie about George Harrison? And will she get the word "LSD" tattooed on her forehead? And will it stand for "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" or "Love Sucking Dick"? (Comment on this)
Thursday, October 27th, 2005
7:56 am	I'm alive Or at least I have felt that way recently. I was contemplating putting mushy stuff in here but decided against it. She might read it and think i'm a decent guy. I decided that getting my license is turning out bitter sweet. Sure driving is great but the ol' bank account is dwindling due to insane gas prices and the ability to drive to a store and buy something. Not to mention the other three habits I have to pay for. Damn you Marlboro and Miller, but thanks Bob. This just in: Complaining about gas prices makes you sound old. This also just in: Hendrix's performance of "Machine Gun" on the album "Band of Gypsys" is insane. I still need a haircut. For Halloween i'm slicking it back, dressing in a suit and going as "sexy". A little conceited perhaps but it's all in fun. I hope. I could just be in denial of my assholeness, more on this later. This just in: Hendrix's performance of "Machine Gun" on the album "Band of Gypsys" is still insane. It seems as though i'm taking another hiatus on drawing. I havn't drawn anything outside of class for a good two months... I'll probably draw up some Calvin and Hobbes soon enough for the woman friend but until then I don't see much happening with it. I'm starting to wonder if the want to draw will come back, lately it seems even photography has become somewhat of a chore. All the good ones die young. Current Mood: relaxed (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 25th, 2005
8:11 am	Things I learned this weekend: Being a sarcastic dick is fun Shaking up beer cans and spraying them on your friends is also fun Smores were made by the god I don't acknowledge Beer pong should be an official sport because i'd be the league MVP Bonfires do indeed burn Peanut butter cap'n crunch and beer don't go together very well I smoke too much Things I learned 5 seconds ago: Having every other sentence on your "Things I learned this weekend" involve beer makes me sound like a god damned fratboy Things i'm doing tonight: Driving two hours in the rain to Richmond Seeing the woman Falling asleep while driving home never to be heard from again Current Mood: cold Current Music: Road Trippin (Comment on this)
Friday, October 21st, 2005
12:28 am	12-by-29 I could go for some microwave popcorn. Current Mood: hungry Current Music: I'm deaf and this question is insulting (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, October 13th, 2005
7:46 am	Hold the chives This post is only a test. Normal journal reading will resume shortly. I remember when I had interesting stuff to say. Now i'm about as bland as a baked potato. Sarcasm's birthday is today, coincidentally also my mother's birthday. My life in a two words: Work, sleep. Exactly the way I never wanted it to be. I could be optimistic and pretend it's going to change but more than likely not. I just thought of something quite ironic. I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry. But so I don't leave you hanging, it was the biggest waste of money. Like I said earlier, I used to have somewhat interesting things to say. Hello mediocracy. Current Music: RHCP- Road Trippin (Comment on this)